Today is Thursday, and it’s music day! Thursdays are usually free days and I try to fill them with as many notes as I can fit in. Today, dear readers, I just haven’t been in the mood. I’ve succumbed to several seductive distractions and I’ve felt very tired, a feeling I’m convinced is down to the meteorological conditions. The weather outside is frightful, don’t let it snow. (There’s almost always a tune or twenty going on in my head!) I try to fight my fatigue by urging myself to practice. This usually follows a walk, or a bit of a run or some sort of time spent outdoors, but I don’t like getting wet and cold! Jumping in the pool for my aquafit classes ticks that box and provides the bracing boost I need to infuse my day with positive energy. I don’t have time to go to the pool every day, so I can’t wait for some sunshine so I can feel the embrace of the great outdoors again.

I have a busy weekend ahead with more playing than I’ve done for quite some time and my fingers are a bit sore. In an instinctive mood this morning, I played through two steadfast cornerstones from my solo repertoire slowly from memory to warm up and was reassured that it didn’t all sound hideous. Interestingly, the pieces sounded quite fresh. A note to my students reading this - practice has a knack of doing that! You can work like the devil and it may feel like your playing’s getting worse, but great music takes time to mature. I can convince myself that I’m the worst harpist ever if I haven’t racked up a certain number of hours’ practice during the week, which can lead to a downward spiral of no practice at all or a negative approach. Cultivating a healthy sense of responsibility is a useful tool here. So for example, I’ve got a performance/lesson coming up - how do I want to feel and what’s the process I need to implement in order to feel that way? Used well it can provide a healthy motivation. Used poorly it can be a tool for self flagellation and guilt. It’s our choice.

I have a LinkedIn account and I get email notifications from them on a regular basis. This morning’s email opened like this - “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know”. Those words fill me with sorrow and I’ll be deactivating my account as soon as I have time. I genuinely believe the best advertisement is word of mouth and from recent experience, the word of the mouth of the moment, social media, is no great shakes, at least not the way I’m doing it! There has to be a better way and I’m working on it…

I gave an interesting lesson on Monday. It reminded me how fortunate I am to have an abundance of knowledge and experience, and I’m determined to put my skills to good use. I have a very creative mind which can run riot if I’m not careful in channelling it. I think most creatives are wired similarly. The trick is harnessing that energy by becoming attuned to its ebbs and flows.

I played for an ultra chic wedding last weekend at a spectacular venue. It was like something out of a luxury bridal magazine. Unfortunately I didn’t take any photos to show you here as I had quite a lot on my mind. My car exhaust broke late on Friday afternoon, and I got it back just in time for my departure on Saturday morning. My Satnav won’t update so I was trialling an app on my mobile while carefully keeping half an eye on my Satnav, switched to silent, for some form of visual guidance. Needless to say, I arrived at my destination with plenty of time to spare - I’m always aware that incidents like the M62 drama yesterday can happen at any time. It reminded me of a wedding I was playing at a few years ago. I went to pack my car which looked lopsided. I soon realised I had a flat tyre. With the clock ticking, I called my breakdown company, and the mechanic came quite quickly considering it was a Sunday morning. My tyre was fixed and I got to the wedding just in time. I’m often criticised for leaving super early for professional engagements and this is precisely why. I’d rather be there with time to spare for a nap in my car and a coffee than be rushing or, heavens forbid, be late. There ought to be a name for this phenomenon, like Freelancer’s Fear. There probably is, I just don’t know about it. If I’m late or I don’t arrive, I won’t get paid!

This weekend I’m climbing back into the old orchestral saddle and although I feel underprepared by my standards, I’m really excited about playing a beautiful orchestral work and being part of a bigger group of musicians again. Preparing for it has reminded me of my love and passion for orchestral playing and I do feel some sorrow and regret that fewer opportunities come my way these days. I’m on an exciting journey! I’ve enjoyed the discipline of the preparation and the immersion into the music that’s required for a solid performance. I’m nowhere near where I’d like to be with it but I know it’ll be more than good enough. Like one of my teachers Germaine used to say, “On ne peut pas être au four et au moulin”…

Wishing you a great weekend, hopefully with a few more radiant rays of sunshine. Perhaps I’ll see some of you at the Wortley Hall Spring Wedding Fayre on Sunday. I can’t wait to share my harpbeat with you!