It’s been another busy week here at Rhian Evans Harpist HQ. It was great to get away last weekend and be in orchestral harpist mode once again for a couple of days. I made a guest appearance with the Hull Philharmonic, playing the harp part for the hauntingly beautiful and challenging Viola Concerto by William Walton.

Velvet toned violist Tim Ridout took centre stage with authoritative humility. His performance featured some beautifully poignant characterful playing. The sturdy musician-ship of the Hull Phil was ably steered by Andrew Penny and it was an exciting performance. I realised I haven’t performed with orchestra since February and I felt a bit disorientated at first. I gradually allowed myself the spaciousness to absorb the multi-sensory experience of working within an unknown ensemble of musicians in the stately splendour of Hull City Hall. Feeling more relaxed by the second rehearsal, I really could get used to that role again, one I fell in love with at the tender age of 15 when I first played with Clwyd Youth Orchestra. Those were the days!

I had quite a scary moment at the end of the rehearsal when I couldn’t find my car keys despite emptying all my bags and pockets thrice. I dashed down to the security desk where Nick, the super friendly security guard handed them to me with a knowing look. The bench provided wasn’t adjustable so I went to the car to get mine. I was already in harpist mode and, preoccupied by thoughts of music, left my keys in the car door. Lucky me! Hull City centre on a Friday evening isn’t such a bad place after all!

On Sunday, the wedding fayre I’d been looking forward to didn’t quite go as I’d intended. I’d hoped to meet dozens of clients as excited and enthusiastic about my music as I am. My morning started well, with two sets of clients I met at the most recent Wortley Hall wedding fayre, who had come to finalise their music choices. Other than a little interest for 2020 and 2021, it was a bit of a damp squib despite the glorious weather.

People drifted past as I played to my harp’s content, and my music seemed to have little or no effect on them. Perhaps they’re drafting their enquiry emails as I type. Or maybe I need to buy a guitar and take singing lessons. I know from experience these things can take time and I’m optimistic I’ll get a couple of bookings eventually.

It was lovely to work with Wedding Fayres Yorkshire again, who ensured proceedings ran smoothly as always. I’m extremely grateful to Paris Tyrell of WFY who, with lightning speed, generously filmed and uploaded a short videoclip of me playing A Thousand Years to Instagram. I then shared it to Facebook so I’m learning slowly but surely. It might eventually make its way to YouTube. It hasn’t gone viral yet but it certainly looks like I’m down with the millennials. Well, as down with them as a 40 something harpist can be.

I’m generally an optimist and I prefer to look at the bright side, but I admit I’m struggling musically at the moment. I have no paid playing work until mid June, a thought that worries me. I’ve sat down and done some rough calculations and as it stands, I’m not breaking even with my harp performance work. I’m afraid I’ve lost a bit of motivation too, possibly due to this. I’m a teeny tiny individual trying to integrate a gigantic competitive hungry industry, and therein lies my problem. I don’t have the business acumen or financial backing necessary to kick start my wedding business in this day and age. This has led to me losing my musical mojo momentarily. I’m not commercially driven in the slightest. I love to play, and trying to build my business has taken me so far away from my playing that I scarcely practice anymore, let alone play for my own pleasure. I haven’t touched the harp since last Sunday, and I don’t like that one bit. I’ve taken on an additional 10 hours of shop work this week to secure June, and having that work is an absolute blessing. It keeps me sane and in the black.

One thing I’ve found to be an excellent substitute for performance and sharing my music is exercise. It must be the adrenaline and the endorphin rush that follows. In a similar way to practice, it’s awkward and uncomfortable at first, but after a while I find my rhythm, and there are even moments I enjoy feeling my body jiggling about, my feet slamming the tarmac vigorously. Having been told I don’t have a runner’s physique, I’m honouring the rebel within. I love the freedom, power and independence running offers me. Besides, it’s far healthier than some other options available!

Next week I’m off and if I have time, I’ll be putting my version of an out-of-office sign up here. I’m going AWOL and I can’t wait. I desperately need a change of scene to gain some clarity about my situation and perhaps some inspiration regarding a way forward. So there’ll be no blog post next week as I’m turning off my laptop and letting it gather dust for a few days.

See you again in June, and remember to keep loving live music! And maybe even living love music - think about it…