It’s Thursday evening and it’s already been a busy old week. I always find the shop work challenging as it’s so fast paced. I never quite feel good enough. That’s a familiar theme as a perfectionist performer and I suppose I always try to give my best performance whatever work I’m doing. I used to love working on the tills as I got the chance to chat with customers a bit at quieter times, and try and bring a smile and some cheer to those who needed it. Since the new safety measures have been brought in (screens, masks and the 2 metre rule) I find engaging with customers so much harder. It’s more tiring to read their expressions and a lot of guess work goes on. It’s harder to tell what mood they’re in as I’m focused on going faster and I spend most of my shift looking down at broccoli and bread, drooling as yet another loaf passes under my nose, aromatically warm and crustily fresh from the oven. On the bright side, my till speed is significantly faster and mistakes are minor and minimal. Everything feels a lot more sterile especially communication (sad face) but if I’m more efficient I guess that’s a win from the perspective of the powers that be. I wonder if I can balance things out a bit. Do speed and quality. Hmmm. I can do it at the harp but it takes years of learning, slow practice and plenty of mistakes made along the way.

I’ve always been focused on customer service - customers that leave with smiles on their faces will come back for more. If, however, I bruise their bananas, they won’t be happy!

My obsession with running and walking has transferred to food lately. My feet have been giving me some grief after a straightforward 8 mile walk last Sunday and subsequently I’ve only run twice this week. It’s ok as I’ve been practicing attic yoga and stretching and strengthening exercises, but I’m aware I need some form of regular activity that makes my heart beat faster or I’m not quite right. The weather today was blissful, not too hot with a soothing breeze, and I felt so relaxed after feeling quite unwell yesterday. By the third and final day of my weekly shifts I feel quite run down and I have flu like symptoms. Come Thursday morning they’re gone so I put it down to the air con. Practice this morning was forfeited for 10 minute sessions sitting in the warm sun on my back garden step absorbing vitamin D and pondering how blue the sky was and how quickly summer has flown past. People, we’re almost in September and don’t you wonder where June and July went?!!

I taught two students online today and they had both made significant progress in a week. It filled my heart, really it did. They’re both getting to the stage where I can ask them to order a book, read through the first part of a piece and have figured much of it out on their own. They both started learning with me as complete beginners a couple of years ago and neither of them had much musical knowledge, and no basic theory skills. Since April they’ve been having weekly lessons and they’ve come on in leaps and bounds. That’s so rewarding for me as a teacher. Give a man a fish and all that. Neither student thought their work was of a particularly high standard but I could see such vast improvement where they couldn’t see much change at all. Sometimes we need someone else’s opinion and feedback on our work as we’re not always objective. Any form of learning demands some self criticism and it can be hard to turn the critic off but that’s the aim when we get a piece of music to performance level. “Just shut up and let me enjoy playing!” The slow burn learning process is both challenging and rewarding.

After teaching I went back into my garden and mowed the lawn, did some weeding and aerated the beds. Another thing ticked off the to-do list. I desperately wanted to go for a walk and a picnic, but simply being outdoors on a day like today was enough. The smell of cut grass wafts in through the window rewardingly as I type.

So far this year I’ve run and walked 882 miles. Yes, I know it’s a lot and my feet will definitely thank me if I offer them a week that’s lighter on the miles. I’m aiming for 1,000 miles this year. It’s great to have a goal especially when there are no playing gigs. It gets me up in the morning.

The other thing that I crave on a daily basis is creativity and by 6pm on a Wednesday if I’m not singing, humming, dancing, cooking or reading, I know something’s seriously wrong. I enjoyed preparing a short video clip for a bride last Friday. It was great to have a sort of deadline, a target, a project, and it’s never a bad thing for me to practice my tech and promotional stuff. I made three clips, one of which I sent to a satisfied bride. Another was posted on social media. One more box ticked. I had a lot of fun getting dressed up in one of my favourite play outfits and putting a smidgeon of lippy on. It almost felt like I had a gig! And soon I just might have a gig, or maybe even two…