What a difference two seasons make! I had my last alcoholic drink just over six months ago and I just don't miss it. I never ever thought I'd write those words. I use wine for cooking and last night had to throw over half a bottle away as it had been open almost 2 months. Only a snifter (a gift) of homemade sloe gin, a dram of vodka and some orange liqueur remain. Ooh those celebratory Cosmos... Hmmm. I have coped with the challenges, joys, disappointments and the humdrum of daily life for half a year without my former go-to crutch. Following the anti-climax of another potential project amounting to nothing last week after almost 3 months' preparation and groundwork, all of which was enjoyable and enriching, I realise my resilience is at an all time high. Managing and developing my business is a challenge. Doing that without my newfound sobriety is an impossibility. I know a brilliant alcohol dependency coach if anyone needs one. You really have to want to stop though, he doesn't take any prisoners.
Inclusive
It's been a while since I applied for jobs
Monday got off to a flying 6am start as is the norm these days and it turned out to be a bit of a grumpy day off. I was intending on getting some precious practice hours in ahead of my happily harp centred fortnight but my brain and body just refused. The weather was warm but by no means itsy bitsy and after a quiet week, my weekend revolved around a job application I had toyed with over the past ten days. It's a position I think I would love and excel at. I felt I ticked most of the boxes apart from a couple of fundamentally important requirements and with the memories of shift work still clear in my mind and body, I decided I had nothing to lose by just going for it. I was very clear from the outset about my lacking in the criteria the job demanded, avoiding any guilt about wasting the company's time. I've only completed an online job application form once before so that was a valuable learning curve in itself and quite an enjoyable one once I familiarised myself with it. The process involved bouncing from one document to another on my laptop and finally down to my duvet on the lawn on Sunday morning where I had my brain splurge in trying to convey with utmost honesty why I was a musician and human being worth knowing about even if I wasn't the ideal candidate for that particular job. 6pm came and I got my head down, only occasionally coming up for air, a cat stretch and some fruity nutty brain snacks. I was hungry but I know that I fall into a bit of a postprandial stupor after my evening meal.
Brainstorm breakfast
The best starting place. Spot the photobomber
Shortly after 10pm I realised with horror I'd omitted one section. How did that happen? I frantically looked through my notes and couldn't find anything. After I calmed down, the response to this question flowed freely and with the irresistible 11.59pm deadline, I pressed the button at 11.09. I could have read my increasingly blurring words an umpteenth time and tweaked and re-tweaked to the wire but my leftover curry was consumed just before midnight. Hyperactively exhausted, I ate and I wondered to myself why I didn't get round to doing it sooner. That was nipped in the bud and I reassured myself that the outcome isn't important. Going through the whole process is what mattered. When's the next one? I feel a sense of achievement today even though I know I'm up against hundreds if not thousands of work thirsty candidates who are equipped with far better skills than me, and it was an important step I had to take in my journey - still putting myself out there. I was surprised to receive an email copy of my application as soon as I sent it. I can't bring myself to look at it yet, but it will be useful for reference in due course.
Meditation irony
Too much time at my computer fried my brain and my body this weekend, but Pilates and a day off ironed most of that out
Thanks Mike!
My minimal (for now) attic office table with the remnants of my makeshift extra table from the weekend's work endeavours. No wonder my back ached. It looks a bit like a boardroom doesn't it? It will once I've tidied up
Never one for half measures, I've set myself the challenge of a 5 part Facebook quiz week to help me get used to recording and video so that I'm not putting the same stuff up on my page all the time. I've already rescheduled it twice after unrealistically planning to get it started yesterday. I'm all about sharing my music and my love and passion for it while pushing my boundaries and learning new skills, and trying to make all that fun. I've got a messy music desk piled with manuscript for the coming few days which I can't wait to delve back into. I also get to savour the fruit of another challenge I set myself a few months ago - get my body in just good enough shape for a bikini. No, I'm not off on holiday just yet, but I was told when I was offered this work that there's a pool onsite that we can use in breaks. That's what lured me into Aquafit, which I will obviously maintain as I can't imagine a week without it.
Whoops!
It happened again... A dress fit for business practically threw itself at me
My shopping trip was short and to the point. The first shop I wasn't even planning on going to provided the bikini (blue and pink!) I ticked off my list at a bargain price of £6, so even if I do bottle out, which I won't, I can still wear it round the house when the weather gets tropical again. I'm always on the lookout for blacks and I know I'll find plenty of use for that new little best friend. At that price, there was no way I could walk away. I came back and crashed onto my sofa and dreamt heavily. I could have stayed there all evening but I roasted my chicken for the week and arrived only slightly late for Pilates, my mood as dark as thunder. It was great to iron out my body and mind's creases and my lateness meant I missed those horrible monkey squats which stoke my anxiety, maybe because my legs are still quite weak and perhaps due to a fear of falling? Or hurting my back? There were a few postures that roused giggling (who said Pilates is all seriousness?) amongst emphatic groans and strenuous huffing and puffing (who said Pilates is easy?) We finished with some thrilling vertiginous swooping and I felt my body and soul start to smile again. There's something cathartic about group physical activity. I'm so glad I didn't stay on my sofa. Fred was back from almost two months driving through France and Spain and looking like a native with his olive toned skin. He introduced me to a man who's high up at the local golf club and he took a few of my cards. We share a surname! We must be related...
This week? Bring it on!
He-bee
How many bees can you see?
He-butterfly
